Lelouch of the games
by KallenViBrittania
Summary: A feel good, funny mini series with very short chapters, depicting what Lelouch and the gang get up to in their free time, posting let's plays on YouTube and messing with Suzaku... not serious at all, no conflict, just humor, friendship, and of course, Kalulu romance, no consistent updates. Chapter one, prop hunt.
1. Fucking with Suzaku

"You ready for the trolls?"

"I sware to god Lelouch, if you pull what you did last round I'm going to come over to your condo and kill you, slowly."

"What's wrong Suzu, having a meltdown already?"

"Fock you." Kallen smiled at his lighthearted jab. The three of them had been best friends since they where six. She and Lelouch had been dating for three years. They where all eighteen now.

Lelouch spawned in, and immediately left the spawn, the map was a two story office building, he hopped up onto a chair, switching from an old man to a coffee mug, Kallen hopped onto a desk, picking her own prop. They both went upstairs, Lelouch sat on the edge, just outside of the rails, he paused and looked at Kallen.

"Holy shit how do you become that!?"

Kallen was a single potato chip.

"Hehehehe! Not telling."

The hunters where released, Suzaku took the second floor, Euphie took the first.

Suzaku walked into the glass conference room.

"Oh hey buddy what are you doing in here."

"... they're upstairs."

"How do you know that? I could be talking to Euphie."

"I know your in here, where are you..." Suzaku began to pick up every last prop in the room and started breaking them.

"Uh hey are you gona pay for that stuff your breaking?" Kallen and Lelouch both began to laugh.

"..." He walked out of the conference room, hitting a fire extinguisher on the way.

"Hey, pick that up!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Suzaku picked it up and threw it over the stairs.

"You break it you buy it, let's see, you broke a camera, two computer monitors, a fire extinguisher, a planter, a newspaper... I'll let the last one go."

"I paid twenty five cents for that paper." Kallen remarked laughing harder.

Lelouch added the paper back to the list.

"Fuck off." He began to walk down the stairs.

"Aww your leaving?"

Suzaku's charecter paused, before turning around and walking back up the stairs. "Fuck you."

He spent another minute looking around, while the two of them kept using taunts they downloaded.

"Oh my god fuck the both of you!"

"We have each other for that."

"Eww, big brother, I don't want to hear about what you and Kallen do in your free time."

Suzaku began to walk around the hallway, when Kallen suddenly shot out of her hiding place in front of him.

"LEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOYYYY JEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIINS!" She sprinted away as the tiny object, and he chased, firing away with a machine gun. Laughing like a maniac.

"Jesus Christ, I fucking hate you so much right now!"

She began to play the chicken dance song as she dragged him around in circles around the office, before going inside and hiding. The song continued to play.

"Nope, fuck that, I'm going to find Lelouch!" Kallen and the violet eyed teen where laughing their asses off at their computers.

The song continued to play, and Suzaku continued to walk all over the second floor, looking at every object he saw, while Lelouch sat there and laughed at him, sitting right there as he walked by.

"PISS OFF PRETTY BOY!"

"Hahahahahahaha! Oh the glorious failure I'm watching is too funny to miss. Hahahahahaha!"

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

Suzaku hopped up onto the railing and began to look around, still not seeing the coffee mug on the edge.

"Holy shit, how, HOW HAS HE NOT SEEN YOU!?" Kallen yelled as she began to turn blue with laughter.

"YOU CAN FUCK OFF ANY TIME NOW, SHOW YOURSELF YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Suzaku continued to look around until his charecter finally focused on the misplaced mug.

"SEE YA LATER I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!" He sprinted off and joined Kallen in the cluttered office, hitting his taunt button, Rick rolling Suzaku.

"Ok you know what, fuck this." He ran into the conference room, and fired his grenade, suiciding. "I'm un-installing steam."


	2. The Rage

A/N I'd like some reviews, it's not super important but it would help if I had feedback, anyways this is a family, friendship, humor, romance fic, rated M for language, and shameless smut later on. Prop hunt won't be the only game they play, there will be several other types of games as well, but the first few will be prop hunt.

Prop hunt- always a bottle...

Lelouch and Kallen spawned in a market plaza, both of them picked a beer bottle and hid in a flower bed, after Suzaku was released he started to look for the two of them, this time his partner was Rivalz.

"Ok Lelouch let's play twenty questions."

"Umm ok."

"Number one, are you guys the same prop?"

"Yes." Kallen answered.

"Ok number two, uh, could I buy you as a toy for a kid?"

"Uh, it depends on how wealthy the family is, so I can't really answer." Lelouch said.

"He's a bucket, they're buckets, they're both definitely buckets."

"Wh-hat? How did you come up with that answer?" Kallen asked.

"I'm just looking for a bucket, that's all I'm lookin for." Suzaku stated as he walked by the two of them.

They popped out and began to follow him, after a few seconds Suzaku turned to look at another prop, but caught the site of two bottles that weren't there before in his vision. He turned to look at them. "Wait a second..."

"Run!" They both began to circle Suzaku, confusing him.

"Fuck the both of you!" He raged as he fired off his shotgun.

They lost him and ran to the flower bed.

"You would buy a kid a beer you asshole?! You would be the shittiest parent ever!"

"I can't believe I lost them." He ran by the flower bed again, stepping right next to the snickering couple.

Lelouch hit the taunt button.

"Thank you, please come again." Said the voice of Apu, from the Simpsons.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"MAKE ME!"

Lelouch and Kallen ran out of the flower bed, and into a small open shack.

"Rivalz, come here, I think they went in there." He pointed at the shack. "You go check and I'll watch the door. And remember if you see any bottles in there with BIG GOOGLY eyes, looking at you all innocent and shit, you shoot that mudder fucker right in the face."

Rivalz walked into the shack, not being able to find them. He walked out thirty seconds later.

"Ok shit heads, let's play twenty questions again. First question, can you see me out in this little courtyard?"

The two props left the corner and hopped up onto the railing by the window.

"Uh yeah we can see you." Kallen said.

"Ok twenty questions over." Suzaku muttered as the timer hit zero and the couple won.

"Can you see us, over in that shack you just checked?" Lelouch chuckled with his question.

"Are you serious!?" Suzaku turned and looked at the two beer bottles hopping in the window, launching his grenade at them out of spite, and missing.

"YOU HAD ONE JOB RIVALZ! ONE FUCKIN JOB!"

"WHAT JOB!? HE'S A BOTTLE, THEY'RE ALWAYS FUCKIN BOTTLES!"

The sound of Suzaku smashing his head on his desk was heard. "You gotta be fucking kidding me, the gods of video games just bless him with the ultimate ability to pull off random magical shit, and he gets away with it..."

Next: prop hunt- Sexual harassment.

They started off on a different map, Kallen, Lelouch and C.C. on one team, Rivalz, and Suzaku on the other. The three where props the other two where the hunters.

The trio spawned inside a house, in the living room, and went upstairs, splitting off into different rooms, Kallen took the storage room, Lelouch took a work office, and C.C. took the Bedroom.

"GUYS STOP WHATEVER YOUR DOING AND COME HERE! I FOUND THE PERFECT PROP!" C.C. Yelled

"What?" The two left and ran into the bedroom.

"LOOK AT WHAT I AM!"

"Oh, my god, HELL FUCKIN YES!" Kallen yelled.

"Glorious..." Lelouch said.

"I don't like the sound of that Rivalz, I'll go in the house you check outside."

"Kay."

Suzaku ran into the house, after making sure nothing was wrong in the living room he went upstairs.

The snickering of the props continued.

"What are you asshole's giggling for!?"

He went into the bedroom, and looked on the floor.

"Oh fuck no, NO, NO-NO-NO! NOT COOL GUYS! FUCK YOU!"

In the middle of the floor was a prop that had been tampered with.

He picked it up and threw it out the window, it landed on the head of Rivalz charecter.

"THEY'RE A BUNCH OF FLOPPY FUCKIN DILDOS!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! NIGGA, NIGGA, NIGGA THEY HATE US CUZ OUR DICKS IS BIGGA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" C.C. Screamed.

"THAT MEANS IF ANYONE IS GONA BE FUCKIN ITS US!" Lelouch yelled.

Kallen was too busy laughing her ass off to comment for a moment but she calmed down enough to do something else.

"Guys, let's be spies." She began to play the mission impossible theme song, they all began to make childish sounds to go with it.

Suzaku ran into the office to search for them, the three props ran in after him hitting their own taunt buttons, before running back out and closing the door. And staying by it to keep it locked.

"Oh come on! YOU GUYS ARE BEING DICK HEADS!"

"Just the head? Why not the whole thing?" Lelouch asked, sounding serious.

Suzaku screamed and jumped out of the window, killing his charecter.

"FUCK THIS GAME!"

They ran downstairs, C.C. began to play the Nyan cat theme song, and they jumped on Suzaku.

"TAKE IT LIKE THE BITCH YOU ARE!" Lelouch yelled.

"YEAH, EAT IT YOU COCK SUCKER!" Kallen said.

"RIVALZ THEY'RE BY MY BODY!"

Rivalz ran over to the side of the building Suzaku died at, he fired off his grenade, but it hit many near by props instead, and his body was launched over the fence.

"OHHHHHHHHHH I HATE YOU FUCKERS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH RIGHT NOW!"


	3. Just terrible

A/N people currently in, have recently been in, or know people who are in the U.S. armed forces may find this chapter a bit offensive, as well as British people and muslims... I'm just trying to be funny, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but come on, this is gold...

G-mod trouble in terrorist town... liberating

"I can not believe I agreed to this..."

"Get over it Suzaku."

"Fuck you too."

"Hey, I am the only one allowed to fuck my boyfriend!"

"That was rhetorical Kallen!"

"Shut it before I shove a rhetorical boot up your ass!"

"We don't even need to play this fuckin game, this commentary is comedy gold."

"Nobody asked you Witch!"

"I don't need anyone to tell me what I can and can not do, pretty boy."

"Alright everyone shut up!" Lelouch yelled, there where 6 people total, Lelouch was the detective, and the other three where either innocent, or guilty, but there was no telling who. The five unknowns where in a room with an electric chair, the other people playing where Kallen, Suzaku, C.C. Rivalz, and a guy named _Sallymcsaggytits._ "You, Kallen, you get to go first... to determine your innocence, name a song by British artists..."

"What!?" Suzaku yelled. "That's not fair!"

"Uh, Yellow submarine by the beetles." Kallen said as her avatar sat in the chair.

"Good, you are innocent." Her avatar got off of the chair.

"Bullshit..." Suzaku muttered.

"You're next muscle head."

"Fuck off..." He got in the chair.

"Suzaku, same question."

"Yellow submarine by the beetles."

 **ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT**

His avatar died.

"Dude what the fuck!?"

"Rule numbah one, no copying."

"How was I supposed to know!?"

"I thought it was obvious you where supposed to come up with your own."

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR IM GONNA KILL YOU..."

"Cant do that while your dead genius, C.C. you are next."

C.C.'s avatar sat in the chair.

"Same question."

"... Anything by Ozzy Ozborne?"

"... Good enough."

"OH COME ON WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"Dead people aren't allowed to talk Suzaku."

"HHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

"Better."

C.C. got off of the chair.

"Hey does that chair have any oil in it, we need to liberate that oil..."

 **POW**

Lelouch got a head shot on Rivalz avatar

"Fuckin really rivals!?"

"I couldn't help it! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Alright, that's one dead infidel, we can take his scalp after we finish off the other one, whoever he is."

"Could it be _Sallymcsaggytits_?" Kallen asked.

"... lets find out"

 **POW**

"Nope, wasn't him."

"C.C. then?"

"NO ITS NOT M-"

 **POW**

"FUCK!"

"That's every one except me and... you."

Lelouch's avatar turned to see Kallen had placed a C-4 charge on the wall while he was messing with the others.

"IM SORRY MY LOVE I HAD TO!"

"I TRUSTED YOU!"

"WAIT! WE CAN DIE TOGETHER FOR ALLAH TOGETHER!"

"Yes!"

"LET US ALL SING A MERRY TUNE AS WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS A MONTH LATE WHILE INSULTING EVERYONE!"

"Ahem, me-me-me-meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

K "Dashing through the sands~!"

L "With a bomb strapped to my back~!"

C "I've got a nasty plan for Christmas in Iraq~!"

S "I got through checkpoint A~!"

R "But not through checkpoint B~!"

K "That's when I got shot in the ass by the U.S Military~!"

L "Jingle bombs, jingle bombs, mine blew up you see~!"

K "Now where are all the virgins Osama promised me~!?"

EVERYONE: "ALLAHU AKBAR!"

 **BOOM!**

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"MERRY-LATE-FUCKING CHRISTMAS COCK-SUCKERS!"

A/N I am not sorry...


End file.
